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2011 07 14 / PATERNALISM [ NEGATIVE PATERNALISM & POSITIVE PATERNALISM ] 2011 08 09 / PATERNALISM - PATRIARCHATE - FEUDALISM 2011 07 14 / B NEGATIVE PATERNALISM & POSITIVE PATERNALISM so is UNCERTAINTY directly linked to PATERNALISM negative paternalism is a form to deal logically with unsolved & thus unbearable uncertainty with not learned & not taught solutions to the problem of uncertainty the basis of a healthy life is a good relationship with oneself a good relationship with oneself is not about egoism & egocentrics, those are results of a distorted relationship with oneself it's the "child distortion" which i would sum up currently under related 3 distortions of mind map, female, male & child distortion egoism & egocentrism are the results of the child distorted relationship with oneself, which is about paternalism, negative paternalism why "child distortion" : cause it's built up during the transition to a, what we call, adult human, who has to aim to be self reliable unfortunately during the childhood we are not taught a good relationship with ourself, we are told to trust, especially parents a healthy relationship with oneself, roots in a clear prioritizing of relationships, on top level priority of relationships has to stand inalterably the relationship with oneself, it has to be the best relationship ever the most people today have a heavily distorted relationship with themselves, the more distorted the own relationship is & accompanied with other distortions, the less happy the life is & the more problems are caused also within the society rooted within that distorted self relationship why "child distortion" 2 : cause it's about the negative paternalism & paternalism is about a certain sort of relationship between 2 individuums, a good explanation of that gives the transactional analysis a healthy relationship takes place on the same level of value, a distorted is about paternalism, either as undervalued child or overvalued "pater", the position of an undervalued child is therefore the negative paternalism, the function of an undervalued child, of negative paternalism works as bent inwards, concave, lacking an inward upright presence an own life based on negative paternalism is sensed by oneself as a feeling of inferiority, permanent & overall present many of us develop during the life a compensation to that inferiority, as a superiority, which is called egoism & egocentrism those are the basics, there is a lot more muddle about but negative paternalism is at the core of all current human problems so, what is then a healthy relationship with oneself : 1. it's the top priority relationship 2. it's not about trust, not about belief & not about hope, it's about decisions based on understanding or at least a good will this "good will" is the same, which is the base of Nonviolent Communication, it's the position, that every message sent & received results from a constructive tryout of a communication & not from an assault it's of course easier said than done, especially faced with material violence it gets very problematic, but the basics are the same take the actions & words of someone else towards you as a constructive although probably unsuccessful tryout of a communication & the base communication is the communication with oneself, so take your actions & words said to yourself as a tryout of constructivity that's all the basis theory, theory means here not unproved or incomplete, it means, that it's the principle, which appears in every single life & every single human as different combination of solutions, actions, positions, views, results lucky are those, who can extrapolate those principle words into their practice of life, but you surely know, that you can still contact me if you need your more personal evaluation & explanation, currently still for free
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